the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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