i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize