Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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