i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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