she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize