Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize