I want to have your abortion
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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