she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
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today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize