We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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