id be glad to
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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