They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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