i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
FUCK WHALES
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