I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize