You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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