Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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