I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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