i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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