"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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