I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize