He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize