you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize