he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
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Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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