Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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