good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
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The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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