Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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