i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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