i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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