Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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