"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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