walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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