M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I used snow as a chaser
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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