It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
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The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.