Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area