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I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
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