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Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.

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(763): Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1p73

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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.

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I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.

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(763): Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up. (763): I just baked them cookies. We're friends now. http://tfl.nu/27t6

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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.

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(763): So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life. http://tfl.nu/7aby

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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me

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(763): I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me http://tfl.nu/q7kn

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Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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(763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3

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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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(763): FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though. http://tfl.nu/i3qf

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Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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(763): Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months http://tfl.nu/4w1o

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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.

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(763): The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins. http://tfl.nu/k74l

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how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?

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(763): how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea? http://tfl.nu/6syz

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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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(763): I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder. http://tfl.nu/dpkn

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chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30

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(763): chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30 http://tfl.nu/6e6v

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i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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(763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2

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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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(763): Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always. http://tfl.nu/ugs1

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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

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(763): I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?" http://tfl.nu/jpwl

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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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(763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7

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Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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