Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (763)

Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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(763): View more from Minnesota

dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve

(608): View more from Wisconsin

clearly you are not from wisconsin

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(763): dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve (608): clearly you are not from wisconsin http://tfl.nu/j6wr

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Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls

(763): View more from Minnesota

is that a poem?!

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(612): Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls (763): is that a poem?! http://tfl.nu/h29o

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It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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(763): It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo. http://tfl.nu/heh2

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I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.

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(763): I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not. http://tfl.nu/gu0c

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I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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(763): I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it. http://tfl.nu/zncn

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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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(763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9

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Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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(763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh

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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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(763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2

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she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

(612): View more from Minnesota

safety first

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(763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo

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I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

(612): View more from Minnesota

I want my thong back.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I hate you tequila.

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(763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481

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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5

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that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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(763): that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her! http://tfl.nu/ypk8

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someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless

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(763): someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless http://tfl.nu/hdeq

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!

(763): View more from Minnesota

Yes.

(612): View more from Minnesota

fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria

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(612): You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!! (763): Yes. (612): fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria http://tfl.nu/wx8p

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Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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(763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf

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Last Night in Minnesota (763)

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