Texts From Last Night · November, 2012

Texts from November, 2012

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.

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(360): I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line. http://tfl.nu/9tdh

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(720): View more from Colorado

Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.

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(720): Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence. http://tfl.nu/jsvt

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(360): View more from Washington

I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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(360): I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job. http://tfl.nu/8nby

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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(812): Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome. http://tfl.nu/9uj2

Replies (9) Good night (1390) Bad night (428)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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(973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej

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(303): View more from Colorado

Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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(303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt

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(330): View more from Ohio

If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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(330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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(609): he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night? http://tfl.nu/gjwh

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(416): View more from Toronto

Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?

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(416): Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground? http://tfl.nu/za9i

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time

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(403): I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time http://tfl.nu/5di6

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(937): View more from Ohio

think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.

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(937): think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside. http://tfl.nu/fjz3

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(315): View more from New York

There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.

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(315): There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate. http://tfl.nu/2ksi

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.

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(303): Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor. http://tfl.nu/urne

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(719): View more from Colorado

I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.

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(719): I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in. http://tfl.nu/k5k2

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.

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(215): Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro. http://tfl.nu/nta7

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Texts from November, 2012

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