Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2011

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Those memories are both hazy and awesome.

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  (802): Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom? (401): Those memories are both hazy and awesome. http://tfl.nu/ars0
  Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (457)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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  (780): i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch. http://tfl.nu/33ox
  Replies (7) Good night (1802) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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  (708): Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked... http://tfl.nu/0j0c
  Replies (8) Good night (2095) Bad night (735)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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  (717): ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk. http://tfl.nu/2qzx
  Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (886) Bad night (2193) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.

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  (310): Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former. http://tfl.nu/bzj0
  Replies (2) Good night (1270) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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  (780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba
  Replies (10) Good night (1260) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame

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  (952): and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame http://tfl.nu/7sdj
  Replies (4) Good night (1920) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.

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  (206): I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof. http://tfl.nu/xi8t
  Replies (6) Good night (1599) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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  (614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4
  Replies (4) Good night (3569) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.

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  (303): I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college. http://tfl.nu/snfw
  Replies (3) Good night (3704) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's yummy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  HE'S GAY. AND 40.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Irrelevant.

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  (802): He's yummy. (613): HE'S GAY. AND 40. (802): Irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/3zsj
  Replies (9) Good night (2018) Bad night (835)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.

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  (814): Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral. http://tfl.nu/7qfs
  Replies (5) Good night (1341) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar

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  (515): we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar http://tfl.nu/51mn
  Replies (10) Good night (2094) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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  (979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3
  Replies (14) Good night (1906) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt