Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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  (918): Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one http://tfl.nu/ihc6
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  So can I buy you a drink sometime?

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  Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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  (918): So can I buy you a drink sometime? (206): Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days. http://tfl.nu/hks4
  Replies (28) Good night (1103) Bad night (7579)
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  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

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  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
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  they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks

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  (918): they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks http://tfl.nu/5j5t
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  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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  (918): When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty http://tfl.nu/ybq4
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  After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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  (918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again. http://tfl.nu/cy0p
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  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

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  (918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j
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  im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.

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  (918): im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song. http://tfl.nu/sv6u
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  Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.

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  And she used to have such long ones. Sad.

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  (918): Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm. (1-918): And she used to have such long ones. Sad. http://tfl.nu/v7eg
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  I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"

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  (918): I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn" http://tfl.nu/8vnd
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  I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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  (918): I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass. http://tfl.nu/pyjz
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  I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.

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  (918): I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it. http://tfl.nu/on4u
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  My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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  (918): My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it... http://tfl.nu/dlfs
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  I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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  (918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps
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  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
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