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I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
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