I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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