Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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