ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize