i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
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You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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