I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize