so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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