the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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