He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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