you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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