I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize