I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize